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A really ****ty preview of the 2016 Arizona game

Buffnik

Real name isn't Nik
Club Member
Junta Member
The really ****ty preview is back from a week's sabbatical. OK, two weeks, since I'm sure that some of you assholes expected something during the bye week. But it's back. And so are the Buffs as a Top 15 football program!

This Saturday, our amazing #12 ranked and Pac-12 South leading Buffaloes visit Tucson to take on the Arizona Wildcats at 8pm MT on FS1. Zona is 2-7 (0-6) and coming off a 69-7 beatdown at Wazzu. The Buffs will look to get the offense rolling again after winning two straight defensive battles (10-5 at Stanford and 20-10 vs UCLA).

Expect Colorado to step on Arizona's throats in this one and for almost no one to see it in person.
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Basketball season started this week and the handful of people on campus & around Tucson who actually know that UA has a football team are now ignoring it since there's no reason to pay attention any more. Besides, if they're jonesing for football, they can always drive a couple hours up to Phoenix and know that the Rattlers will put on a good show... or at least its cheerleaders will. Oscar ftmfw!!!
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Prediction: Zona sucks and we will crush them.

Before we get started with our in-depth analysis of the game, the ****ty preview would be remiss if we didn't mention that it's Veteran's Day Weekend and pay tribute to our US military with a special thank you to those serving in the Utah National Guard.
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Thank you for your service.

Now onto Arizona and its pathetic excuse for a football team.

I'm not really sure where to start, so let's just start at the beginning. We've all seen the Emmy winning work of CU Video that sets the standard for the industry and has become featured on Pac-12 Network, blowing away all of the programming that PACN tries to produce itself.


Well, let's just say that Arizona Video isn't at a similar standard...


My first reaction to the Rich Rod video series (they do one of these every year where he pretends to be James Bond or some other character) is to laugh at him since he's a complete tool who thinks he's cool and believes that these videos make him look like a badass. Is it possible, you might think, that maybe this is genius and it's some ironic parody of a hype video? No, it's real. He's a tool. He has no clue. It's more sad than funny, probably.

My suggestion is that next year, if he's still employed, he stops kidding around and plays his doppleganger by taking on a Chris Farley role.
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I can see it now. The magic of the summer heat. All the players showing off their muscular physiques. Play up the party atmosphere at the University of Arizona. Drive that preseason hype by going bigger than before by including Sean Miller in the Adam Sandler role.

Make this happen Rich Rod!

And, seriously, what would have to go wrong in your life to have any other option for playing D1 football but deciding you want to live in friggin' Tucson, deal with fall camp in 105 degree heat, lose, play for a dingleberry of a coach, lose some more, be the redheaded stepchild of the basketball team among UofA fans, and lose a whole lot? It makes no sense.

Could it be the cheerleaders?
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They don't even show any cleavage, for crissakes!

Maybe they're attracted to the gameday atmosphere?
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I suppose there's a certain appeal to anonymity.

I know! Gotta be about the hotties on campus and there being enough talent left over after the basketball players have left the party with their companions for the night. Well, I'm sure they exist. They have to. We're talking about thousands of 18-22 year old women here. But when I search for pics of their fans all I can find are what looks like success story ads from OurTime.com.
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Honestly, the only possible explanation for why any football player would choose to go there is if their training table meal plan is unlimited free food at El Charro.
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Of course, that can't be true or they wouldn't have a starting NT playing at 245 lbs.

And this is why the suck and will continue to suck.

**** Arizona.

Buffs take care of business tonight and MacIntyre shows class by doing all he can to avoid running up the score.

CU 73
UA 0
Go Buffs!
 
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Wow! That's the best you could come up with after such a long hiatus?

I was truly dissapointed that you didn't hand the reins over to Miami last week, but at least Orr gave it a shot. Welcome back?
 
Super glad Nik's bout with constipation is over, and the **** is again flowing freely. This ****ty preview unleashed wall-covering blast of dripping ****tiness throughout Tuscon, AZ.
 
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