EDSBS: Negative Recruiting Pitches

[Darth Snow]

A few choice tidbits, but most are effing hilarious:

http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday...um=feed&utm_campaign=Feed:+edsbs/rss2+(EDSBS)

Mike Stoops will force you to masturbate in front of him at least once during your freshman year

Be careful. Auburn doesn't deduct payroll taxes from your salary.

Kansas. [nods]

Ralphie is actually a Newfoundland with a gland problem. Sorry.

:rofl:

The girls at Arizona State all have fantastic tits, but no nipples. Not a single one. It gets disconcerting really quickly.

You won't get laid at Tennessee without covering yourself in buck urine.

 

[FrankRizzo]

So great.

"Everyone at Ohio State loves Family Guy, and doesn't get the Simpsons. If this offends you and you run a 4.5, it's doubly clear you're a Michigan man. And if this offends you but you run a 5.5, you're Northwestern material."

"You want to go to UVA and live on the lawn? Well tough ****, that's whites-only housing, son."

"Coach Calipari may not have been forthright with you. You cannot leave after one year for the NFL, and he is not in fact the football coach."

 

[Heywood]

So Rick Neuheisel says you're pretty good? [CLICK}


ha!

 

[GoBuffs08]

I'll just say this if you go to Berkeley: four years is a long time to spend picking hippie crotchweave out of your teeth.
On the upside, you'll never have to floss. Hope you like girl's lacrosse players and poetry that doesn't rhyme.

 

[KingPants]

Kansas and Kansas St. got eviscerated with no words. Just beautiful.