SanDiegoUte
Member
Greetings from Salt Lake City
First things first - I think we can all agree the PAC-12 is soft and it's just a matter of time before Utah and Colorado stop slow-playing these fools and proceed with the inevitable mountainification of college football in the western United States. We Utes have taken the initiative by drafting the first half of our joint plan for the hostile takeover of the PAC-12, which I have graciously included in this post. It is up to Colorado now to finish this bad boy off between bong rips and watching Adult Swim.
Step 1 - lose a fu*kton of games and make the PAC-10 schools think we aren't a threat
Step 2 - legalize marijuana in Colorado and demonize it in Utah
Step 3 - smoke so much on Friday that we all forget about the football slap fight
Step 4 -
Step 5 -
Step 6 -
Once you figure out the rest, send it back our way and we'll get to it after we run it by our Mormon overlords for approval. Nothing gets done in this state if they don't get their cut.
On to the epic battle of who sucks less!
I saw that the line for the game opened with Utah -23. -23?! That is just plain disrespectful. Colorado may be epically $#!+ty this season, but no way are you guys 23 points worse than Utah in Boulder. That is preposterous. Utah is seriously awful this year; especially on offense. If the Buffs nut up and play their best game of the year like they did in Salt Lake City last season, I'm not sure Utah's offense is even capable of scoring much more than 23 points total, so that spread seems ridiculous.
A ton of Utah's points this season were scored off of kick returns, fumble returns, and interception returns. Utah has scored a lot of non-offensive TDs in our wins this season and a lot of the rest came from fantastic field position. I wouldn't abandon hope for a win if I was a Buff. Utah has a mediocre o-line that can't run block for $#!+; a true freshman QB that has promise, but mostly plays like a true freshman; an underachieving d-line that was supposed to be all-world, but peaked at 'good'; piss poor linebackers that can't cover any passes across the middle; an underachieving secondary that went from leading the PAC-12 in interceptions last season to last place in the PAC-12 this season in spite of having 4 returning starters; a banged-up RB group that has no run blocking to run behind; athletic WRs that honestly drop more balls than they catch; etc. All of that and I haven't even touched on the coaching, which has probably been the biggest issue of all this season.
Chow held things together on offense with some twine and spackle last season, but Brian Johnson power-washed that $#!+ away when Chow left for Hawaii. Utah has a first year OC that happens to be the youngest coordinator in all of college football at barely 25 years old. Not surprisingly, he schemes and calls plays like a first year OC trying to run a new offensive scheme, without the requisite talent, in a blood thirsty power conference. Translation - our offense is putrid. Utah also has a new o-line coach, a new tight ends coach, and a new cornerbacks coach. This staff may end up doing great things, but as of right now they have managed to lose more than 6 games for the first time in over a decade.
I could get into more specific details, but I'm assuming nobody on here gives a damn. Utah should win, but I am not foolish enough to think Colorado can't win. If Utah and Colorado combined our win totals we still wouldn't have enough for a bowl game, so this isn't exactly David vs. Goliath, in spite of what the spread says. Tell me, buffs - can you win? If so, why/how? Does Colorado have any strengths on offense or defense? If so, what are they? This game is our bowl game this year, so bear with me while I try to manufacture some excitement.
Rumble in the Rockies 2012! It's going to be EPIC!
First things first - I think we can all agree the PAC-12 is soft and it's just a matter of time before Utah and Colorado stop slow-playing these fools and proceed with the inevitable mountainification of college football in the western United States. We Utes have taken the initiative by drafting the first half of our joint plan for the hostile takeover of the PAC-12, which I have graciously included in this post. It is up to Colorado now to finish this bad boy off between bong rips and watching Adult Swim.
Step 1 - lose a fu*kton of games and make the PAC-10 schools think we aren't a threat
Step 2 - legalize marijuana in Colorado and demonize it in Utah
Step 3 - smoke so much on Friday that we all forget about the football slap fight
Step 4 -
Step 5 -
Step 6 -
Once you figure out the rest, send it back our way and we'll get to it after we run it by our Mormon overlords for approval. Nothing gets done in this state if they don't get their cut.
On to the epic battle of who sucks less!
I saw that the line for the game opened with Utah -23. -23?! That is just plain disrespectful. Colorado may be epically $#!+ty this season, but no way are you guys 23 points worse than Utah in Boulder. That is preposterous. Utah is seriously awful this year; especially on offense. If the Buffs nut up and play their best game of the year like they did in Salt Lake City last season, I'm not sure Utah's offense is even capable of scoring much more than 23 points total, so that spread seems ridiculous.
A ton of Utah's points this season were scored off of kick returns, fumble returns, and interception returns. Utah has scored a lot of non-offensive TDs in our wins this season and a lot of the rest came from fantastic field position. I wouldn't abandon hope for a win if I was a Buff. Utah has a mediocre o-line that can't run block for $#!+; a true freshman QB that has promise, but mostly plays like a true freshman; an underachieving d-line that was supposed to be all-world, but peaked at 'good'; piss poor linebackers that can't cover any passes across the middle; an underachieving secondary that went from leading the PAC-12 in interceptions last season to last place in the PAC-12 this season in spite of having 4 returning starters; a banged-up RB group that has no run blocking to run behind; athletic WRs that honestly drop more balls than they catch; etc. All of that and I haven't even touched on the coaching, which has probably been the biggest issue of all this season.
Chow held things together on offense with some twine and spackle last season, but Brian Johnson power-washed that $#!+ away when Chow left for Hawaii. Utah has a first year OC that happens to be the youngest coordinator in all of college football at barely 25 years old. Not surprisingly, he schemes and calls plays like a first year OC trying to run a new offensive scheme, without the requisite talent, in a blood thirsty power conference. Translation - our offense is putrid. Utah also has a new o-line coach, a new tight ends coach, and a new cornerbacks coach. This staff may end up doing great things, but as of right now they have managed to lose more than 6 games for the first time in over a decade.
I could get into more specific details, but I'm assuming nobody on here gives a damn. Utah should win, but I am not foolish enough to think Colorado can't win. If Utah and Colorado combined our win totals we still wouldn't have enough for a bowl game, so this isn't exactly David vs. Goliath, in spite of what the spread says. Tell me, buffs - can you win? If so, why/how? Does Colorado have any strengths on offense or defense? If so, what are they? This game is our bowl game this year, so bear with me while I try to manufacture some excitement.
Rumble in the Rockies 2012! It's going to be EPIC!
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