Things to look forward to in the off-season:
Mid-April: Spring game. Everyone will try and figure out how XYZ’s play during the game will translate on game day in the fall. There will be an epic battle between Kool-Aid drinkers and Debbie Downers regarding the day’s events.
Late April: As 4/20 goes by all will hold their breath that our secondary will not show up to the event. Also rumors of potential defectors will start to come out as the free agent part of college football will begin.
Early May: Find out if under classmen who have switched positions choose to leave (sometimes the OL doesn’t like being converted to FB).
Mid May: Find out if there are any players who look like they will be ineligible in the fall.
Late May: Find out if any players are leaving to go to a program that offers a Hip-Hop degree.
Early June: Read articles about how two years ago college football was changed forever due to conference re-alignment. Two items will be prevalent in the articles, Nebraska started it all (which of course is incorrect) and Texas won (as will be stated by Chip Dickhead down in Austin).
Mid June: Focus will turn to the U, as the Ponzi scheme guy will start his trial. The government will attempt to get back mom and pops retirement money from hookers, dealers, and high end bar owners (along with the U). Also, some program will have a player do something stupid which will cause a national uproar on how out of control college football players are.
Late June: Worries will start to poor in about which freshmen are not on campus yet, who still needs a good summer semester to be eligible, and how the injured are healing. Also, football camps for high schooler’s will start, and reports will start to come in on who dominated at the camp, and who is probably going to end up at CSU (CSU Pueblo if they improve a bit).
Early July: There will be a break for in-between semesters, and everyone will be watching to see which program has a player driving 125 mph at 4 am while high on weed.
Mid July: Everyone will be on such football withdrawal that people will talk and discuss random 7[SUP]th[/SUP] round NFL draft picks new deal he just signed, and how they are the next: Tom Brady/Terrell Davis/Shannon Sharp.
Late July: The conference press conferences will start where every coach will say why they have a chance to be ‘special’ this year, and then the press will vote on end of season predictions. Fan basis everywhere will be in an uproar over why they are too low, and why the press is full of retards. Also, we will be close to the start of the Jerry Sandusky trial, and everyone will be out for blood against Pedo State.
August: Every report on the daily practice will pit Kool-Aid vs. Debbie Downer.
Start of September: The football season starts, and Notre Dame drops out of the top 25 for the first time of the year.
