Menu
What's new
By:
Filters
AllBuffs | Unofficial fan site for the University of Colorado at Boulder Athletics programs

This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

  • Prime Time. Prime Time. Its a new era for Colorado football. Consider signing up for a club membership! For $20/year, you can get access to all the special features at Allbuffs, including club member only forums, dark mode, avatars and best of all no ads ! But seriously, please sign up so that we can pay the bills. No one earns money here, and we can use your $20 to keep this hellhole running. You can sign up for a club membership by navigating to your account in the upper right and clicking on "Account Upgrades". Make it happen!

How to Be an asshole CU fan: A primer, with ongoing tips and tricks.

Liver

Liver

modded mod
Club Member
Junta Member
it has been quite some time since we were basking in glory and sauntering with the big swag of days of old. some of you are too young to have experienced it first hand. this thread is intended to provide guidance and help and follow on support as we begin this journey back to world domination.

first tip... about those piss filled water balloons and "nails filled with marshmallows (sic)"...

crying fuskers are a very important part of our glory. the taste of their tears are the finest of fine champagne. for many years they propagated ridiculous rumors like the piss filled balloons and the marshmallow thing and kicking grandmas down the stairs at stadiums and so forth. here is how to handle that... lean in. tell them it is all true when they call you classless and outlaws. embrace their hate. their flyover redneck toothless illiterate fat ****ing selves won't know what to do with that. they stammer and the chew drips down the side of their curled in horror lips.

ask them if they left their pets at home unattended because you need to fire up the grill for the tailgate. the idea and perception of the balloons and the rest are enough to cause them great rage and distress.

and so forth.

more of course to follow.
 
Liver said:
it has been quite some time since we were basking in glory and sauntering with the big swag of days of old. some of you are too young to have experienced it first hand. this thread is intended to provide guidance and help and follow on support as we begin this journey back to world domination.

first tip... about those piss filled water balloons and "nails filled with marshmallows (sic)"...

crying fuskers are a very important part of our glory. the taste of their tears are the finest of fine champagne. for many years they propagated ridiculous rumors like the piss filled balloons and the marshmallow thing and kicking grandmas down the stairs at stadiums and so forth. here is how to handle that... lean in. tell them it is all true when they call you classless and outlaws. embrace their hate. their flyover redneck toothless illiterate fat ****ing selves won't know what to do with that. they stammer and the chew drips down the side of their curled in horror lips.

ask them if they left their pets at home unattended because you need to fire up the grill for the tailgate. the idea and perception of the balloons and the rest are enough to cause them great rage and distress.

and so forth.

more of course to follow.
Click to expand...
Meh. 6.5. E for effort.
 
My personal confrontational style is unbridled arrogance and willfully dismissive ignorance.

Nothing gets under people’s skin like making it clear you know nothing about them and are uninterested in trying to learn.

Asking mildly mundane questions and sprinkling clarifying statements which illustrate their irrelevance will only make them try to get your attention and grow their resentment
 
I've heard a rumor that tourists are being mugged in Estes Park at a record rate. We should make sure the Fusker fans are aware.
 
one of my fav moves from the old days is to assume that said notre dame or michigan or whomever fan acknowledges and accepts that CU is equal to or better than them. they cannot quite grasp that a program that they consider to be a non-blue blood could possibly have passed them by and that CU fans do not view their program with the respect and reverence for their history that they feel they deserve.

"yeah, it is cool when the best programs in the country win. you guys are doing pretty well too."
 
If you went to CU, regardless of the time period, this is a natural trait. It may need some cajoling to bring it to the surface but it is almost genetic within our CU family. It will require little to no effort as there is a lot of pent up beatings that need to take place on the foes. We shall relish in them and laugh at their pain. We know pain and it will be glorious to turn those tables on the college football world. Enough of being the drum that is beaten. It is now time to do the beating without remorse and with a ferocity that has net been witnessed since the late 80s and early 90s. **** ‘em all. That is all!
 
remember that fans of other programs are already predisposed to hate you. CU has everything they do not have-- location, beauty, fun, lifestyle. most of our enemies have nothing to hang their very sorry hats on other than football glory. use this in your interactions with them. it pushes them right over the edge of sanity.
 
Liver said:
it has been quite some time since we were basking in glory and sauntering with the big swag of days of old. some of you are too young to have experienced it first hand. this thread is intended to provide guidance and help and follow on support as we begin this journey back to world domination.

first tip... about those piss filled water balloons and "nails filled with marshmallows (sic)"...

crying fuskers are a very important part of our glory. the taste of their tears are the finest of fine champagne. for many years they propagated ridiculous rumors like the piss filled balloons and the marshmallow thing and kicking grandmas down the stairs at stadiums and so forth. here is how to handle that... lean in. tell them it is all true when they call you classless and outlaws. embrace their hate. their flyover redneck toothless illiterate fat ****ing selves won't know what to do with that. they stammer and the chew drips down the side of their curled in horror lips.

ask them if they left their pets at home unattended because you need to fire up the grill for the tailgate. the idea and perception of the balloons and the rest are enough to cause them great rage and distress.

and so forth.

more of course to follow.
Click to expand...
Good stuff but I for one have always been kind and respectful to fuskers fans.

I would never post anything about them that would paint them in a bad light or be insulting. I am cautious to make sure that I don't fall into the trap of applying stereotypes at them or failing to consider their tender feelings. When we see someone covered head to toe in cheap red polyester for which they have paid ridiculous prices because it has a block N on it (kNowledge) we should keep in mind that they truly love the endless miles of corn rows (with low grade ditch weed planted out of view) interrupted only by feedlots, manure piles, and silos knowing that for 7-8 months of the year they will be dealing with a climate comparable to Siberia.

I would want neither the sisters or the sheep that they hump to feel that I am slighting their abusers. It does no good to insult the quality or quantity of meth they produce or consume, the condition of their single wide trailers even if they have recycled the aluminum siding for beer money, or their welcoming attitudes as they pimp their mothers at the local truck stop.
 
Buffalo Brad said:
If you went to CU, regardless of the time period, this is a natural trait. It may need some cajoling to bring it to the surface but it is almost genetic within our CU family. It will require little to no effort as there is a lot of pent up beatings that need to take place on the foes. We shall relish in them and laugh at their pain. We know pain and it will be glorious to turn those tables on the college football world. Enough of being the drum that is beaten. It is now time to do the beating without remorse and with a ferocity that has net been witnessed since the late 80s and early 90s. **** ‘em all. That is all!
Click to expand...
I love when they bring up weather. The confusion is priceless when you explain that we're south of OSU & PSU and have more sunny days a year than San Diego or Tampa.
 
Liver said:
remember that fans of other programs are already predisposed to hate you. CU has everything they do not have-- location, beauty, fun, lifestyle. most of our enemies have nothing to hang their very sorry hats on other than football glory. use this in your interactions with them. it pushes them right over the edge of sanity.
Click to expand...
I'm beginning to hate all of you now that Prime is coming and I live in Ohio now.
 
Liver said:
it has been quite some time since we were basking in glory and sauntering with the big swag of days of old. some of you are too young to have experienced it first hand. this thread is intended to provide guidance and help and follow on support as we begin this journey back to world domination.

first tip... about those piss filled water balloons and "nails filled with marshmallows (sic)"...

crying fuskers are a very important part of our glory. the taste of their tears are the finest of fine champagne. for many years they propagated ridiculous rumors like the piss filled balloons and the marshmallow thing and kicking grandmas down the stairs at stadiums and so forth. here is how to handle that... lean in. tell them it is all true when they call you classless and outlaws. embrace their hate. their flyover redneck toothless illiterate fat ****ing selves won't know what to do with that. they stammer and the chew drips down the side of their curled in horror lips.

ask them if they left their pets at home unattended because you need to fire up the grill for the tailgate. the idea and perception of the balloons and the rest are enough to cause them great rage and distress.

and so forth.

more of course to follow.
Click to expand...
Shouldn't the board be taking the advice of a Philadelphia native on this topic?

I got the street cred bro.
 
also, at road games for you single peeps.. sometimes there will be an attractive enemy fan that you will encounter in your wanderings of their generally forlorn community. carpe diem and help that fan see the light. bring them to the good side through the glory of your attention and prowess. he/she will thank you later and you will have the satisfaction that you helped an enemy COME to jesus.
 
PhillyBuff said:
Shouldn't the board be taking the advice of a Philadelphia native on this topic?

I got the street cred bro.
Click to expand...
Truth. It's a whole nother level with Philly fans. I mean, assaulting Santa Claus with snowballs? Gotta bow down and be humbled by that.
 
Had to get off the clown show of the Huskers.
I vividly remember Nebraska /Colorado games in the last 35 years. And yes, Buff fans got under my skin.
However, I recognized the talent that the Buffs had, and have always looked at things from both sides,,,, CU kicked Nebraska’s butts , and Nebraska won a few ….good rivalry!!
i love the State and the people in Colorado, so I have switched allegiances😬( non grad)
I don’t have it in me to be a fan of a university that has no accountability to its fans.
CU is in for a fun few seasons if Neon is indeed your new coach……win or lose. Count me in!!!!
 
Ruhle me out said:
Had to get off the clown show of the Huskers.
I vividly remember Nebraska /Colorado games in the last 35 years. And yes, Buff fans got under my skin.
However, I recognized the talent that the Buffs had, and have always looked at things from both sides,,,, CU kicked Nebraska’s butts , and Nebraska won a few ….good rivalry!!
i love the State and the people in Colorado, so I have switched allegiances😬( non grad)
I don’t have it in me to be a fan of a university that has no accountability to its fans.
CU is in for a fun few seasons if Neon is indeed your new coach……win or lose. Count me in!!!!
Click to expand...
Furk, I don’t know how to react to this. Welcome!?! I’m not sure if I should hit you with a marshmallow filled nail or pass you a Coors Banquet beer. It’s been too long.
 
Buffnik said:
Truth. It's a whole nother level with Philly fans. I mean, assaulting Santa Claus with snowballs? Gotta bow down and be humbled by that.
Click to expand...
I have your vote....

(even though that we really didn't throw snowballs at "Santa.")

The snowball incident has everything to do with OJ Simpson by the way..... I doubt anyone knows the real story except Philadelphians.
 
LesGrossman said:
My personal confrontational style is unbridled arrogance and willfully dismissive ignorance.

Nothing gets under people’s skin like making it clear you know nothing about them and are uninterested in trying to learn.

Asking mildly mundane questions and sprinkling clarifying statements which illustrate their irrelevance will only make them try to get your attention and grow their resentment
Click to expand...
One year CU played Utah I asked a yoot fan if Utah was the sister wives school or was it the other Utah school? She went and sat somewhere else the rest of the game.
 
also, remember that very few of the fans of other programs are used to the vast quantities of recreational substances that CU peeps can consume without consequence. be careful when you share with them. send them home happy and grateful for your attention, not to the ER.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top