Don't you get it Jens? Stanford is the most awesome university on the planet-academically and athletically. They think ahead and nobody can top them in any category. They simply are unstoppable in the universe. CU should just give up now...
Stanford's admissions criteria and steep tuition keeps CU students from pursuing a real degree in Palo Alto. There is not a single CU parent who would hesitate to send our children to Palo Alto if offered the choice between a full ride scholarship to Stanford and CU.
Stanford alums are richer than CU's. Stanford students and alumni smarter than CU's. Stanford's athletes are stronger, faster, more disciplined, and better coached.
CU fans appoligize to no one... except Stanford.
We realize our natural place in the universe. It's better to just let Stanford eat our lunch than to aspire to defy gravity and expect victory over the Cardinal.
We willfully bow before our Stanford overlords in every aspect of our lives, at work, on the playing fields, and in the gymnasiums. Stanford grads design and market Apple, Facebook, Oracle, and basically everything that makes modern living tolerable. CU takes pride in the fading glory of South Park adult cartoon series and the afterglow of a few NASA's manned space projects.
Stanford graduates that occupy high office are the only force in the universe that are capable of stopping a global meltdown that returns mankind back to the dark ages.
CU is not so dilusional to get uppidy and actually aspire to upset our Stanford overlords by beating them in college athletics. A CU fan wouldn't even throw a piss baloon at a Stanford fan nor push a Stanford granny down the stairs. We can't even say "**** Stanford" without a deep sense of shame and the pain of inadequacy. This is followed by an immediate urge to appologize for blasphemy.
The members of Buff Nation were not good enough to get into Stanford as undergraduates. Instead, we swallowed our pride and compensated by opting to engage in the selfish and reckless pursuit of frivolity in Boulder. Our sub-Stanford quality intellect is mainly focused on bong rips, ski trips, and satisfaction with our near perfect SAT score plus the slacker's 2.3 high-school GPA. Under this behavior is a deep rooted inferiority complex to The Tree that is on par with that gnawing feeling that we failed to grow up into the adults that would make our fathers proud.
When we schedule Stanford, it is in Buffnation's psyche and in our best interest to assume that we are going to roll over and lose before the game even begins. This is true every time. In every sport [except skiing and occasionally XC]. We are just honored to simply be in the presence of Stanford's endowment, even when that means we get to submit to them as they do unspeakable things to us. Standford is Tiger Woods and CU is a cross between the golf ball and a waitress at Denny's.
It is more than enough for CU fans to hope the Buffs can just keep games competitive into the beginning of the second half. It is our responsibility not to force Stanford coaches to take pity on us during trash time.
The only people who expect CU to beat Stanford are the insubordinate, the stupid, and the crazy marauding Cal fans that have an axe to grind against their rival from across the bay.
