RR Ralphie Report: The Best Names at the Big Dance: Who can Boogie with Boogie?

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From Denver to Gibraltar, from Okey to Supreme, the Big Dance has it all.

There’s no methodology to this bracket, really. I just pulled each team’s basketball-reference pages and found my favorite name. Many of these names are deeply American, some of them a glimmer into the family’s past (whatcha doing in Argentina, Maximo Milovich?) and some of them are named Supreme Cook.

First, here are the regions with each team’s representative. After that, I’ll have the bracket filled out with no explanations for who won each bracket. I do want to apologize because some of these names aren’t good at all, but it’s not my fault Missouri has such boring names when Casmir Chavis and Ven-Allen Lubin were snubbed.

South Region

1. Denver Jones (Auburn) vs. 16. Jerquarius Stanback (Alabama State)
2. Gehrig Normand (Michigan State) vs. 15. Frankie Vassalluzzo (Bryant)
3. Tamin Lipsey (Iowa State) vs. 14. Grant Asman (Lipscomb)
4. Zhuric Phelps (Texas A&M) vs. 13. Jeannot Basima (Yale)
5. Phat Phat Brooks (Michigan) vs. 12. Maximo Milovich (UC San Diego)
6. Jaemyn Brakefield (Ole Miss) vs. 11. Tyzhaun Claude (North Carolina)
7. Ben Gold (Marquette) vs. 10. Atiki Ally Atiki (New Mexico)
8. Aidan McCool (Louisville) vs. 9. Jackson McAndrew (Creighton)

East Region

1. Kon Knueppel (Duke) vs. 16. Gibraltar Coleman (American)
2. Labaron Philon (Alabama) vs. 15. Antallah Sandlin’El (Robert Morris)
3. Jack Janiki (Wisconsin) vs. 14. Money Williams (Montana)
4. Luke Champion (Arizona) vs. 13. Rich Brisco (Akron)
5. Supreme Cook (Oregon) vs. 12. Kai Yu (Liberty)
6. Townsend Tripple (BYU) vs. 11. Alphonzo Billups III (VCU)
7. Andrew McKeever (St. Mary’s) vs. 10. Devin McGlockton (Vanderbilt)
8. Kanye Clary (Mississippi State) vs. 9. Norchad Omier (Baylor)

West Region

1. Urban Klavzar (Florida) vs. 16. Sin’cere McMahon (Norfolk State)
2. Zuby Ejiofor (St. John’s) vs. 15. Valentino Simon (Omaha)
3. Federiko Federiko (Texas Tech) vs. 14. Khamari McGriff (UNC Wilmington)
4. Selton Miguel (Maryland) vs. 13. Styles Phipps (Grand Canyon)
5. Dain Dainja (Memphis) vs. 12. Bowen Born (Colorado State)
6. T.O. Barrett (Missouri) vs. 11. Joey Matteoni (Drake)
7. Rakease Passmore (Kansas) vs. 10. Boogie Fland (Arkansas)
8. Solo Ball (UConn) vs. Kobe Elvis (Oklahoma)

Midwest Region

1. Ja’Vier Francis (Houston) vs. 16. Cham Okey (SIUE)
2. Darlinstone Dubar (Tennessee) vs. 15. Kyler Filewich (Wofford)
3. Ansley Almonor (Kentucky) vs. 14. Randarius Jones (Troy)
4. Fletcher Loyer (Purdue) vs. 13. Kezza Giffa (High Point)
5. Chauncey Wiggins (Clemson) vs. 12. Quadir Copeland (McNeese)
6. Ben Humrichous (Illinois) vs. 11. Dailyn Swan (Xavier) or Ze’Rik Onyema (Texas)
7. Lazar Stefanovic (UCLA) vs. 10. Aubin Gateretse (Utah State)
8. Dusty Stromer (Gonzaga) vs. 9. Blue Cain (Georgia)

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Here’s the final bracket:

by Sam Metivier
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