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ESPN Page 2 Rules to being a college football fan

Yay, I pass rule #4!

Screw you, HF! :smile2:

And my jersey wearing is still within acceptable age limits...
 
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"If you can't be true to a school, at least be true to your own weaselly nature."

There were some good ones in there!
 
This is some good advice for all of our "friends" in Fort Fun who seem to worship the Corn...
1. As a fan, you have to pick a school, one school, same as if you were filling out applications to, you know, go to school there. You may not be a fan of a conference, teams from a specific state, "West Coast football" or college football in general. Nobody is a fan of college football in general, not even Lee Corso. Nor may you root for Harvard and Yale, any more than you could matriculate at both places, unless you're really, really smart, in which case you're probably building prototype military surveillance nanobots in your MIT dorm room, and/or devising a computerized ranking system* to shame Jeff Sagarin.

* Note: In scenario No. 2, you are allowed to root for the spread. Just make sure Skynet never becomes self-aware

1a. Under extenuating circumstances, however, you may have up to three Division I-A rooting allegiances, so long as the schools meet the following criteria:

(a) Your birthplace/family school – especially if an inheritance is at stake, or if a campus library bears your last name.
(b) Al(most)ma mater – the school you transferred from.
(c) The school that actually handed you a diploma. Or would have, if you hadn't finished three credits short.
(d) Your spouse's school, especially if the program is vastly superior to your own, or your spouse cares waaaay more than you do, in which case: good call on getting married!
(e) You're a bandwagon-jumping, low-self-esteem weenie and scurry from Notre Dame to Miami to Ohio State to USC to Boise State depending on the year, the polls and the amount of water flooding into the ship.

If you can't be true to a school, at least be true to your own weaselly nature.
Click to expand...

This just couldn't more perfectly describe the majority of Lamb fans.
 
"57. Do not call the opposing punter a wuss from the safety of the stands. He's probably tougher than you are. And if he's from Northern Colorado, he might have to cut you."

Damn. :wow:

Funny **** though.
 
Buffarino said:
Yay, I pass rule #4!

Screw you, HF! :smile2:

And my jersey wearing is still within acceptable age limits...
Click to expand...

I dunno if you are a true fan though, I still have my concerns about you.:smile2:

Me too, I can still wear a jersey...4 more seasons it looks like until a polo is mandatory
 
ok that was freaking funny. especially 26. Please observe the following age guidelines on appropriate thoughts to have while ogling the USC song girls:

• 11-15: What is this strange tingling feeling?
• 16-18: College is going to be awesome.
• 18-24: Damn, I wish she'd wear that skirt to sociology class.
• 25-35: College was awesome.
• 36-50: Damn, I wish she'd wear a burka or something. That could be my baby daughter!
• 51-75: Gee, what a lovely young lady. I hope she meets a nice boy.
• 75-over: What is this strange tingling feeling? Do I have to go to the bathroom again?
 
oh and
27. You are allowed to start tailgating six hours before kickoff.
BEEN THERE DONE THAT MANY MANY TIMES :)
 
41. Observe the following statutes of limitations:

...
(e) Bragging about a blowout BCS bowl win over Notre Dame: one year, or until someone else joins the club


:rofl:
 
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