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If the Big 12 Had eHarmony Accounts

iowa state for example


Iowa State

ID: 76318490

Personality Type: None

I'm looking for: A conference that will respect me for what I bring to the table; three guaranteed victories for your team every year between Men's Basketball and Football. I'm also one of the last few schools that actually gives a damn about wrestling. Not the cool, "I'm going to pretend to hit you with a chair while in a steel cage of death," kind of wrestling, but more like, "Hey, I eat celery broth and look forward to grabbing your spandex covered balls," wrestling.

Hobbies & Interests: I enjoy reading the Twilight books, playing my XBOX 360, and masturbating to old episodes of The Carol Burnett Show while crying.

Why should you pick me?: I will literally suck your dick to stay out of the Missouri Valley.
Click to expand...
 
This fits like a mooseknuckle.

Why should you pick me?: Everyone needs a mullet sporting, Camaro driving, jean jacket wearing has-been that's still living the dream.
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Texas A&M

ID: 66432221

Personality Type: Mentally Challenged

I'm looking for: Hot Pockets

Hobbies & Interests: I have a probation officer. He told me to stop taking my pants off in front of Target.

Why should you pick me?: I have clean underwear on today.
Click to expand...

The whole aTM was funny as hell to me
 
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