FlatironsBuff
Well-Known Member
Q: What do you call a cute girl on the arm of a Nebraska football
player?
A: A tatoo.
Q: Did you hear that Nebraska is tearing out its turf in Memorial
Stadium and putting down notebook paper?
A: They heard their new West Coast Offense looks better on paper.
The train and the tunnels....
Sitting together on a train, traveling through the Rocky Mountains,
are a Nebraska fan, an Colorado fan, an old lady-longhorn fan and a
young blonde Oklahoma fan.
The train goes into a dark tunnel and a few seconds later there is
the sound of a loud slap. When the train emerges from the tunnel,
the Cornhusker has a bright red hand print on his cheek. No one
speaks.
The old Longhorn fan thinks: The Cornhusker must have groped the
blonde in the dark, and she slapped his cheek.
The blonde thinks: That Cornhusker must have tried to grope me in the
dark, but missed and fondled the old lady and she slapped his cheek.
The Cornhusker thinks: The Colorado fan must have groped the blonde
in the dark. She tried to slap him but missed and got me instead.
The Colorado fan thinks: I can't wait for another tunnel, so I can
smack the crap out of that Corhusker again.
Q: Did you hear about the tragic fire on the Nebraska campus?
A: Their library burned down. Both books in the library were
destroyed, and one hadn’t even been colored in yet!
A man enters a bar and orders a drink. The bar has a robot
bartender. The robot serves him a perfectly prepared ****tail, and
then asks him, "What's your IQ?" The man replies "150" and the robot
proceeds to make conversation about quantum physics, string theory,
atomic chemistry, etc. The customer is very impressed and
thinks, "This is really cool."
He decides to test the robot. He walks out of the bar, turns around,
and comes back in for another drink. Again, the robot serves him the
drink and asks him, "What's your IQ?" The man responds, "100."
Immediately the robot starts talking, but this time, about football,
NASCAR, baseball, supermodels, etc.
Really impressed, the man leaves the bar and decides t o give the
robot one more test. He goes back in, the robot serves him and
asks, "What's your IQ?" The man replies, "30." And the robot
says, "So, you gonna root for the Huskers again next year?"
In a school just outside of Lincoln, a first grade teacher explained
to her class that she was a Huskers fan. She asked her students to
raise their hands if they were Huskers fans too.
Not really knowing what a Huskers fan was, but wanting to be liked
by their teacher, their hands all went up into the air. However,
there was one exception. A little boy named Timmy had not gone along
with the crowd.
The teacher asked him why he had decided to be different .. "Because
I am not a Huskers fan" says Timmy.
The teacher then asked, "What are you?"
Timmy said "I'm a Buffs fan."
The teacher was a little perturbed now, her face slightly red, she
asked Timmy why he was a Buffs fan.
" Well, my mom and dad are Buffs fans, so I'm a Buffs fan too."
The teacher was now angry. "That's no reason" she says loudly. "What
if your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot?"
Timmy smiled and said, "Then I'd be a Huskers fan."
Q: What happened when the dumbest person in Colorado moved to
Nebraska?
A: It raised the average IQ for both states
player?
A: A tatoo.
Q: Did you hear that Nebraska is tearing out its turf in Memorial
Stadium and putting down notebook paper?
A: They heard their new West Coast Offense looks better on paper.
The train and the tunnels....
Sitting together on a train, traveling through the Rocky Mountains,
are a Nebraska fan, an Colorado fan, an old lady-longhorn fan and a
young blonde Oklahoma fan.
The train goes into a dark tunnel and a few seconds later there is
the sound of a loud slap. When the train emerges from the tunnel,
the Cornhusker has a bright red hand print on his cheek. No one
speaks.
The old Longhorn fan thinks: The Cornhusker must have groped the
blonde in the dark, and she slapped his cheek.
The blonde thinks: That Cornhusker must have tried to grope me in the
dark, but missed and fondled the old lady and she slapped his cheek.
The Cornhusker thinks: The Colorado fan must have groped the blonde
in the dark. She tried to slap him but missed and got me instead.
The Colorado fan thinks: I can't wait for another tunnel, so I can
smack the crap out of that Corhusker again.
Q: Did you hear about the tragic fire on the Nebraska campus?
A: Their library burned down. Both books in the library were
destroyed, and one hadn’t even been colored in yet!
A man enters a bar and orders a drink. The bar has a robot
bartender. The robot serves him a perfectly prepared ****tail, and
then asks him, "What's your IQ?" The man replies "150" and the robot
proceeds to make conversation about quantum physics, string theory,
atomic chemistry, etc. The customer is very impressed and
thinks, "This is really cool."
He decides to test the robot. He walks out of the bar, turns around,
and comes back in for another drink. Again, the robot serves him the
drink and asks him, "What's your IQ?" The man responds, "100."
Immediately the robot starts talking, but this time, about football,
NASCAR, baseball, supermodels, etc.
Really impressed, the man leaves the bar and decides t o give the
robot one more test. He goes back in, the robot serves him and
asks, "What's your IQ?" The man replies, "30." And the robot
says, "So, you gonna root for the Huskers again next year?"
In a school just outside of Lincoln, a first grade teacher explained
to her class that she was a Huskers fan. She asked her students to
raise their hands if they were Huskers fans too.
Not really knowing what a Huskers fan was, but wanting to be liked
by their teacher, their hands all went up into the air. However,
there was one exception. A little boy named Timmy had not gone along
with the crowd.
The teacher asked him why he had decided to be different .. "Because
I am not a Huskers fan" says Timmy.
The teacher then asked, "What are you?"
Timmy said "I'm a Buffs fan."
The teacher was a little perturbed now, her face slightly red, she
asked Timmy why he was a Buffs fan.
" Well, my mom and dad are Buffs fans, so I'm a Buffs fan too."
The teacher was now angry. "That's no reason" she says loudly. "What
if your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot?"
Timmy smiled and said, "Then I'd be a Huskers fan."
Q: What happened when the dumbest person in Colorado moved to
Nebraska?
A: It raised the average IQ for both states
