your honor, i would like to open a line of questioning on mr. philby's possible bias, as i believe it may be impacting his opinion in this case.
q: mr. philby, isn't it true that your wife and the mother of your legitimate children attended michigan?
a: yes, that's true, but i am still unbiased.
q: mr. philby, isn't it also true that you have attended michigan football games as a michigan fan?
a: yes, but what do you mean by fan. i attended a few game.
q: mr. philby, if you had to choose between a pissed off mrs. philby and publicly expressing the opinion that CU should get in ahead of michigan, isn't it also true you would choose to assuage mrs. philby?
a: yes, but...
q: mr. philby, your sister says hello and thinks you'd have a clearer head if you did more drugs. do you think she might be right?
a: of course not! i am totally objective on this matter.
no further questions, your honor. this witness is excused.