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SI: CU Assistant Coach's Victim Seeks Justice

sackman said:
Victim blamer!!!


Point made, but still... VICTIM BLAMER!!!!
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Not blaming the victim. Just don't see why she went to MM is all. So many other avenues. Open a phone book or Google battered woman's groups. Easier and they are equipped to deal with such issues.
 
vinniew_11 said:
Not blaming the victim. Just don't see why she went to MM is all. So many other avenues. Open a phone book or Google battered woman's groups. Easier and they are equipped to deal with such issues.
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She went to someone she knew well and trusted, that doesn't seem that unusual to me. It just so happens that trusted person is also the head football coach at CU and is a very visible figure.
 
vinniew_11 said:
Not blaming the victim. Just don't see why she went to MM is all. So many other avenues. Open a phone book or Google battered woman's groups. Easier and they are equipped to deal with such issues.
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Frankly I'm not going to blame her for whoever she decided to call, she made the call. In a DV situation that can be a very hard step to make and I am glad she made it. It was the first step in her hopefully being safe and moving on with her life.

We also though shouldn't be surprised that the response wasn't as quick or well suited to her situation as if she had called a shelter, an advocacy organization, the police or fire department, a counselor, or anyone with expertise in this area. She called a football coach.

If your house is burning down regardless of who you call you would hope that the fire department gets there to help. Just don't expect as fast a response if you call the Parks and Recreation Department first.
 
MtnBuff said:
Frankly I'm not going to blame her for whoever she decided to call, she made the call. In a DV situation that can be a very hard step to make and I am glad she made it. It was the first step in her hopefully being safe and moving on with her life.

We also though shouldn't be surprised that the response wasn't as quick or well suited to her situation as if she had called a shelter, an advocacy organization, the police or fire department, a counselor, or anyone with expertise in this area. She called a football coach.

If your house is burning down regardless of who you call you would hope that the fire department gets there to help. Just don't expect as fast a response if you call the Parks and Recreation Department first.
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How about if I call someone that I consider a friend?
 
NWD Buff said:
How about if I call someone that I consider a friend?
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@vinniew_11 hit it spot on.

I'd expect some compassion, I'd expect to eventually get some help. I would also not be surprised if that person had to take some time and figure out what is going on and how to respond. More so if that person also happened to be a person with a lot of other responsibilities taking up his time at the same moment.
 
I think you guys are missing who she seems to be upset with, it's not Mac, it's the way the University has handled it. She knew Mac's hands were tied.
 
DiggerBuffs said:
I think you guys are missing who she seems to be upset with, it's not Mac, it's the way the University has handled it. She knew Mac's hands were tied.
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And my whole thing is what did she honestly expect from the University itself? She threw out a major accusation and didn't expect them to react like they did?
 
Seems to me, the only people giving CU flak over this anymore are a percentage of CU fans themselves. Since the Friday afternoon news dump that started all of this, and a few fallout pieces, haven't seen anybody really bring it up. It's a non-scandal that some CU fans are seemingly trying to yell from the mountain top about.
 
so nice espn still sees fit to have it as a top story with the likes of baylor and oregon,
 

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vinniew_11 said:
And my whole thing is what did she honestly expect from the University itself? She threw out a major accusation and didn't expect them to react like they did?
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It's clear, she expected the University to follow procedures they did not. Come on.
 
DiggerBuffs said:
It's clear, she expected the University to follow procedures they did not. Come on.
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She has no idea of what CUs procedures are. Come on. Seriously? If she had, she would have gone to RG or DeStephanos herself. I'm sure she reached out to a friend, and that's fine. But don't presume she knew procedure. Had she known that, she wouldn't have asked for JT to have kept his job or no police. If she knew procedure, then she would know that none of those things would happen.
 
TSchekler said:
Seems to me, the only people giving CU flak over this anymore are a percentage of CU fans themselves. Since the Friday afternoon news dump that started all of this, and a few fallout pieces, haven't seen anybody really bring it up. It's a non-scandal that some CU fans are seemingly trying to yell from the mountain top about.
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Have you combed Reddit, and message boards of our conference mates?
 
vinniew_11 said:
She has no idea of what CUs procedures are. Come on. Seriously? If she had, she would have gone to RG or DeStephanos herself. I'm sure she reached out to a friend, and that's fine. But don't presume she knew procedure. Had she known that, she wouldn't have asked for JT to have kept his job or no police. If she knew procedure, then she would know that none of those things would happen.
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This is an action of a victim. Maybe you haven't picked that up in 100s of responses by people responding to such responses as this. Be better.
 
DiggerBuffs said:
This is an action of a victim. Maybe you haven't picked that up in 100s of responses by people responding to such responses as this. Be better.
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No, I don't get it. i don't get her mindset of what she expected out of CU, victim or not. They were not involved in the incident and were drug into it after the fact. So I don't see how CU could have responded in any other way legally. We can quibble over reaction time, but JT was the one at fault, not CU, not RG, not MM.

If I were to work at Home Depot and was beating my wife, I'm sure she wouldn't expect them to handle the situation.
 
vinniew_11 said:
No, I don't get it. i don't get her mindset of what she expected out of CU, victim or not. They were not involved in the incident and were drug into it after the fact. So I don't see how CU could have responded in any other way legally. We can quibble over reaction time, but JT was the one at fault, not CU, not RG, not MM.

If I were to work at Home Depot and was beating my wife, I'm sure she wouldn't expect them to handle the situation.
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You have dug yourself a big enough hole. I will just let you walk by and sit back and enjoy this popcorn.
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SINKRATZ said:
She went to someone she knew well and trusted, that doesn't seem that unusual to me. It just so happens that trusted person is also the head football coach at CU and is a very visible figure.
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Yep. I think she might have been a bit naive about how these types of reports must be handled, though.

Like, if I go to the principal at my kid's school and say that I've got reason to believe one of the kids is being physically abused by a teacher, I can't also expect that principal to keep things between us, investigate it quietly and provide some help if needed.
 
Buffnik said:
Yep. I think she might have been a bit naive about how these types of reports must be handled, though.

Like, if I go to the principal at my kid's school and say that I've got reason to believe one of the kids is being physically abused by a teacher, I can't also expect that principal to keep things between us, investigate it quietly and provide some help if needed.
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Exactly, and that's why her wishes for Tumpkin not to be fired it go to jail are irrelevant.
 
MtnBuff said:
My first thought in reading part of this, didn't read it all because I could sense the direction it was going and we have already been there, was is this Big Jim's sock or somebody else's sock.

We have a brand new poster with a total of 3 post, all of which are in this thread, trying to rip CU a new one over territory that has already been covered and acting like this reaches the levels of Baylor, Penn State, Nebraska, or Miami.


No question the situation could have been handled better. Had HCMM and RG been specialist in the area of DV they probably would have, same with Dr. Phil. They did the prudent thing and acted on the advice of counsel, like it or not this has been established. Even if they had acted sooner they could not have acted soon enough to make the complainers happy. Again until they had legal grounds which came with the PPO they could not act just on the word of an at the time alleged victim who stated she did not want to involve police and/or prosecute.

What has also been established is that A) The right conclusion was eventually reached in asking and receiving the resignation and all information being turned over to the authorities. B) Every indication that this was an isolated incident, not in any way an indicator of a climate that supports, encourages, or protects violence against women or others.

If someone is asking for discipline such as suspensions or terminations against members of the CU staff then they are simply being reactionary idiots. There was no intent to hide or protect an abuser. The people involved did the best they could under the circumstances and with the knowledge and experience they have.
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I didn't know that my opinions posted on an opinion board were not valued based on the number of posts I have made.
Federal law required the Chancellor to report alleged abuse. That's not ripping CU a new one. It's just asking that the people in charge follow the mandated reporting laws.
#nowIhave4posts
 
Its not comparable to child abuse and MM/JT/Jane do not have the same relation that teachers have to students. Domestic abuse is between two adults, and Jane put MM in a very awkward position as a third party. Third parties in that situation should never get involved, no matter how cold it may appear to some. Any intercession MM may have tried would have made matters much worse. MM handled it as correctly and gracefully as he could of.

The lawyer on the other hand...
 
8Jah said:
Its not comparable to child abuse and MM/JT/Jane do not have the same relation that teachers have to students. Domestic abuse is between two adults, and Jane put MM in a very awkward position as a third party. Third parties in that situation should never get involved, no matter how cold it may appear to some. Any intercession MM may have tried would have made matters much worse. MM handled it as correctly and gracefully as he could of.
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I agree, but wish rather than he severing the discussion with her, that he called her back one more time and explained to her that he couldn't be in the middle of it, despite his caring for her.
 
buffaholic said:
I agree, but wish rather than he severing the discussion with her, that he called her back one more time and explained to her that he couldn't be in the middle of it, despite his caring for her.
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Or sending a text that CU legal screened before it could go out. Not sure if that would have been allowed if he'd asked for it, but it sure seems like it would have been the right thing to do even if it maybe wasn't the very best legal course.
 
TSchekler said:
Again. Referring to national or major local media who would actually cause damage. I don't care what the message boards of our conference goes are saying. They are just as dumb and carry as much weight as everybody on this board.
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When you or your employer make a moral or ethical judgement, do you only worry about people with a national stature who can cause you damage? Sounds ruthless.

Don't you think Ted Miller from ESPN might peruse this and other P12 boards? Lots of informed opinions out there and in here.

Personally, I care about truth and justice regardless of how big or small the audience might be. Right is right, and wrong is wrong, even when no one is watching.
 
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