You all great success with very nice taste in football! I give you now my guess for Colorado Buffaloes costume when they go to play Houston, Texas—home of cowboys, oil, and very strong deodorant. Let us begin!
Jersey of ChampionsBuffalo will wear white jersey, yes? It is color of purity, like my cousin’s fourth wedding dress. But do not be fooled—this jersey is not virgene. It has black number, very bold, like tattoo on back of strong woman. Sleeves have little black trim—very sexy, like beard of Prime Coach.
Pants for VictoryThey wear white pants, also. This is good because it match jersey and make team look like army of snow warriors. But down side? If player eat too much chili con carne before game, maybe not so good for camera. Still, pants have gold "CU" on side—very stylish, like letters on tracksuit of Kazakhstan Olympic team (we have one).
Helmet of GloryNow we talk about most important part: gold helmet. Wow wee wow! It shine like sun, blind enemy, and reflect dreams of touchdown. On side is black buffalo—animal of strength and confusion. Face mask is black, so player look like ninja who also went to jewelry store. I like! This helmet say “I am fancy, but also I crush you."
Accessories for Domination• Gloves: black with gold CU—when player clap, it look like money.
• Socks: white with black top, like fancy hotel towel.
• Cleats: white with gold bottom—make player run fast and look rich.
• Visor: maybe dark tint, so player can hide emotion, like my wife.
Borat AnalysisThis uniform say: “We come to Houston not for cowgirl prostitute, but for victory.” It is clean, it is shiny, it is strong. When Buffaloes walk on field, Houston team will say, “Oh no, they crush us.” And Colorado will say, “Prepare for sadness in helmet.”
I give this two thumbs up. It is great success! May Buffaloes crush opponent and look very nice! This why I come to America! High five!
| Game | Opponent | Location | Uniform | My Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Georgia Tech | Boulder, CO | Helmet - Gold Facemask - Black Jersey - Old School Black with White Numbers and Shoulder Stripes to Honor Coach Mac Pants - Gold Socks - White Shoes - Black | A Can't go wrong with the classic. |
| 2 | Delaware | Boulder, CO | Helmet - White Facemask - Black Jersey - Black with Gold Numbers Pants - Black with Flatirons Design Socks - Black Shoes - Black | D+ I think I only hate WBW more.  |
| 3 | Houston | Houston, TX | ||
| 4 | Wyoming | Boulder, CO | ||
| 5 | BYU | Boulder, CO | ||
| 6 | TCU | Fort Worth, TX | ||
| 7 | Iowa State | Boulder, CO | ||
| 8 | Utah | Salt Lake City, UT | ||
| 9 | Arizona | Boulder, CO | ||
| 10 | West Virginia | Morgantown, WV | ||
| 11 | Arizona State | Boulder, CO | ||
| 12 | Kansas State | Manhattan, KS | ||
| CCG | TBD | Arlington, TX |
Week 1:
Week 2:
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