There's more to putting a conference together than shuffling the deck for the teams that would make the most money.
There's good reason why BYU isn't in the Pac-12 despite probably being a more valuable revenue partner than either CU or UU (considering the Pac-12 network wanting to reach worldwide).
And I don't see how it's arrogant. It's not a declaration that the culture of the conference is necessarily better. It's a declaration that the members like that culture, value it, and don't want to see it dramatically changed. From a revenue standpoint, it would probably make sense for the SEC to invite Notre Dame. From a cultural standpoint, it doesn't work. And that doesn't mean that they hate catholics or the midwest.
For the most part, what I'm saying with my post is that there has to be more common ground than "we'll make a lot of money". Conferences don't survive when they get big in ways that don't deliver a membership with the same priorities, principles and values (Big East, C-USA, MWC, WAC, Big 12). This has always been about more than money.
Edit: I should also add that this goes both ways. Fans from Oklahoma and Texas were also very concerned about travel distance and losing the culture they enjoyed within the Big 12 South.