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Rank B12 locations in order of where you would want to attend a CU game

I feel like we should rework this thread based on where we want to go least. All the road games feel like a trip to El Paso. What's the worst El Paso of the bunch?

What's your "no ****ing way an I going to that ****hole town" vote?

I can barely recall my last time in El Paso. Not only was it about 40 years ago, but I had just run over the bridge from Juarez as dawn was breaking. As I recall, the local cops were chasing me for pissing in an alley and I was in no condition to pay a bribe--neither was my wallet. Shortly after arriving back in Texas, I passed out in the back seat of my friend's Chrysler New Yorker with a weird half vinyl roof. Since his vinyl roof had a hole near the front, it would balloon up whenever he drove at highway speeds. I always wondered if that made it more or less aerodynamic. Anyway, when I finally woke up, I was looking out of the rear window of that Chrysler at a string of confederate battle flags. It seems my friend hadn't made it very far out of El Paso before deciding it would be wise to stop driving. He pulled over at the Border Cowboy Truck Stop in Anthony, TX (I think, could've been Anthony, NM.) I made like Saul Goodman walking out of the desert and downed a giant bottle of gatorade.

All-in-all, not a bad outing in the truck stop 12. Probably beats Waco.
 
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Of the towns in the B12 (as currently constructed), I’ve been to Tucson, Tempe, Ames, Ft Worth, Cincinnati and Orlando. I really don’t have much interest in going to any of the others.
 
I can barely recall my last time in El Paso. Not only was it about 40 years ago, but I had just run over the bridge from Juarez as dawn was breaking. As I recall, the local cops were chasing me for pissing in an alley and I was in no condition to pay a bribe--neither was my wallet. Shortly after arriving back in Texas, I passed out in the back seat of my friend's Chrysler New Yorker with a weird half vinyl roof. Since his vinyl roof had a hole near the front, it would balloon up whenever he drove at highway speeds. I always wondered if that made it more or less aerodynamic. Anyway, when I finally woke up, I was looking out of the rear window of that Chrysler up at a string of confederate battle flags. It seems my friend hadn't made it very far out of El Paso before deciding it would be wise to stop driving. He pulled over at the Border Cowboy Truck Stop in Anthony, TX (I think, could've been Anthony, NM.) Anyway, I made like Saul Goodman walking out of the desert and downed a giant bottle of gatorade.

All-in-all, not a bad outing in the truck stop 12. Probably beats Waco.
I was going to tell my story of going to El Paso to fly in the Shuttle Training Aircraft, while the astronauts practiced landings at the White Sands dry lakebed, but your story is way better.
 
I would guess that with utah in the conference, most fans going to a road game in Utah will choose SLC over Provo. I am sure BYU fans are bummed, they had so many potentail new converts coming to town only to watch them probably go to sin city (of Utah) instead.
 
I would guess that with utah in the conference, most fans going to a road game in Utah will choose SLC over Provo. I am sure BYU fans are bummed, they had so many potentail new converts coming to town only to watch them probably go to sin city (of Utah) instead.
As @Big Jim has mentioned, the power move is to stay in Park City and make the hour drive to and from the game at either the U or the Y.
 
I feel like we should rework this thread based on where we want to go least. All the road games feel like a trip to El Paso. What's the worst El Paso of the bunch?

What's your "no ****ing way an I going to that ****hole town" vote?
For me it’s Houston. At least in the small ****hole towns the odds of getting stuck in traffic or shot are not as great.
 
As @Big Jim has mentioned, the power move is to stay in Park City and make the hour drive to and from the game at either the U or the Y.
Ehh Park City used to be cool its just kinda like Vail now. Still if you stay in Park City and have a choice between going to a town with no bars and no real tailgate scene or a pretty good gameday scene, which do you think most B12 fans are going to choose?
 
Ehh Park City used to be cool its just kinda like Vail now. Still if you stay in Park City and have a choice between going to a town with no bars and no real tailgate scene or a pretty good gameday scene, which do you think most B12 fans are going to choose?
SLC, of course. Except for the fvck bailer fans who have been looking into whether there are acceptable areas of Provo where it's against the law to dance.
 
I got out of school to watch the shuttle land at White Sands.

View attachment 62800
Nice! Shuttle (STS-3) landed there one time and only one time. And the next day, a 100 year dust storm kicked up and pushed tons of that fine gypsum dust over and into the Shuttle. They tried cleaning it, but crews of Columbia years later, said they still found gypsum dust in the air filters on orbit.

This flight was also had a pretty scary looking nose gear touchdown sequence, where the nose began to rotate down and then before touchdown, rotated back up, then back down again. Maybe he thought he had been cleared for a touch and go?

 
Nice! Shuttle (STS-3) landed there one time and only one time. And the next day, a 100 year dust storm kicked up and pushed tons of that fine gypsum dust over and into the Shuttle. They tried cleaning it, but crews of Columbia years later, said they still found gypsum dust in the air filters on orbit.

This flight was also had a pretty scary looking nose gear touchdown sequence, where the nose began to rotate down and then before touchdown, rotated back up, then back down again. Maybe he thought he had been cleared for a touch and go?


MFer looked like a falling brick. And lol at “hundred year dust storm.” Those storms happen every spring.
 
MFer looked like a falling brick. And lol at “hundred year dust storm.” Those storms happen every spring.
You start the turn almost over the airfield at 30kft. And once you are lined up with the runway, the outer glide slope is like 20deg which is like 7 times steeper than a commercial flight. It felt much steeper. I stood over the shoulders of the astronauts who were flying, and the entire windscreen was filled with nothing but a view of sand.
 
You start the turn almost over the airfield at 30kft. And once you are lined up with the runway, the outer glide slope is like 20deg which is like 7 times steeper than a commercial flight. It felt much steeper. I stood over the shoulders of the astronauts who were flying, and the entire windscreen was filled with nothing but a view of sand.
Low key = 15,000’
 
I straight LOL'd

I can see a rivalry already building between CU and BYU, starting with which stadium has the more scenic backdrop and setting. Whoever finishes second will still be first in probably every other conference, with the possible exceptions of Air Force and Army, both of which also have spectacular scenery.
 
I can see a rivalry already building between CU and BYU, starting with which stadium has the more scenic backdrop and setting. Whoever finishes second will still be first in probably every other conference, with the possible exceptions of Air Force and Army, both of which also have spectacular scenery.
1691591611515.gif
 
I want to play there for the significance of the game - however I want nothing to do with actually GOING to JJs Pleasure World.
That was my entire point. It's home of the Big 12 Championship Game.
 
Nice! Shuttle (STS-3) landed there one time and only one time. And the next day, a 100 year dust storm kicked up and pushed tons of that fine gypsum dust over and into the Shuttle. They tried cleaning it, but crews of Columbia years later, said they still found gypsum dust in the air filters on orbit.

This flight was also had a pretty scary looking nose gear touchdown sequence, where the nose began to rotate down and then before touchdown, rotated back up, then back down again. Maybe he thought he had been cleared for a touch and go?


Thing flies like a Blackhawk in an auto. 20k feet altitude loss in 2.5 minutes. Damn.
 

Well now we are getting somewhere. Since our new conference is known for a different kind of food scene than the P12 I thought we should explore the our new conferences finest offering, which of course is McDonald's.

Aside from the T Rex in Tucson we have many other unique McD's across the B12 landscape. So while you are on the road seek out these fine establishments, supersize it, and if you eat often enough you will start to feel (and look) like a real B12 member.

Starting with our fellow P12 refugee's seems best. In addition to the T-Rex the same Mcdonalds has a second dinosaur out back.
1691622333914.png

Its unclear if you can get a brontosaurus burger inside but you should be ready to bear down on the toilet about 15 to 20 minutes after you finish your pregame meal.

Headed up north to ASU country you may be interested to learn that the first McD's franchise was in Phoenix and it was also the first use of the now famous double arch logo. However you will probably not be hungry after chowing at the strip club buffet while you get to know the student body.

Continuing north you get to Utah and BYU. Where the only thing unique about their McD's are the fact you can order fry sauce which originated at an Artic Circle in Utah and helps to highlight how weird our neighbors are.
Also the first Kentucky Fried Chicken was in Utah for some weird reason.

As for Provo I got nothin.

So with the four corners taken care of head on south to Texas which has several (3? 4?) universities in the new B12.


Astronaut McDonalds in Houston has an awesome statue out front modeled after our very own @SpacemanSpiff (hmm weird I guess you cant @ someone who is banned?) If you are lucky he might just be hanging out there with Neil Armstrong or possibly just Lance.
1691613357871.png

Elsewhere in Texas we have the first fully automated McDonalds in Ft Worth. Which makes alot of sense because once you see the general populace of Ft Worth you don't really want them involved in making your food.
If you were able to block the memory of your last meal and are still up for more, stop at the Worlds Largest Happy Meal McDonalds in Dallas on your way to the airport.

I almost forgot Lubbock (its pretty easy to do really), and so did any creative McDonalds owners so you will have to look to another restaurant for a unique experience. I know some folks really got into the farm to table movement while visiting the P12 locales but you might not want to try that in Lubbock.
https://kfmx.com/lubbock-ranked-as-one-of-the-worst-cities-in-the-u-s-to-eat-local-food/

Lastly in TX is Waco home to the Baylor Bears. **** Baylor. Never go there IDGAF if they have a McDonalds that gives away free happy endings with every happy meal. **** Baylor that is all. Ok now that I actually did some research the Mickey D's on I 35 apparently gets one star on Yelp and trip advisor with this review.
The worst Mcdonalds i have ever been to.
Complete unorganization. Lazy. Would rather play than serve food to guests. I ordered a #1 to eat in. 20 minutes. No food. Crap service. I am forced to eat at Wendys !

https://www.tripadvisor.com/ShowUserReviews-g56833-d4815958-r718029840-McDonald_s-Waco_Texas.html
So if you do make the mistake of going to Waco you have been warned.

After all of these offerings you are probably most interested in leaving TX quickly and as you head north into the oversized buckle on the bible belt take a look at what OSU has to offer. While not technically in Stillwater you will probably be happily speeding away on 1-44 heading to the worlds largest McDonald's which is on a highway overpass in Vinita OK.
1691613853339.png

If you keep heading north you will eventually escape Oklahoma and unfortunately find yourself in Kansas. The internet shows me that Kansas apparently has bland McDonald's locations to match their bland topography.
So you might need to look into other unique offerings that the Sunflower Oil State has to offer. Nearly equidistant from Manhattan and Lawrence, make sure to visit the Prairie Nut Hut in Altoona before or after the big game to a taste of that balls in the mouth experience that most Jayhawk fans deserve for being the most annoying fan base in the B12 if not the world.

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Next up is Iowa State and the Cyclones who's color scheme and uniforms make them look like Ronald McDonald's illegitimate children.
1691619412019.png
Given this apparent homage it seems Ames should have a spectacular, one of a kind franchise, unfortunately there is not. Luckily since Iowa is so homogeneous you may have mistakenly driven to Iowa City and found this coast to coast travel themed gem instead.


By now you are probably sick of the flat lands and decide to head to the mountains. So you head east towards Wild and Wonderful West Virginia. Since it is a really, really long drive you have to stop to poop in Cleveland and discover this classy AF two story brick colonial McDonalds with chandeliers and other fancy ass ****. Like this is probably the McD's Trump would eat at.
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While you are enjoying your numbered entree you google "Ohio and McDonalds" and you discover the Filet-O-Fish- sandwich originated in Cincinnati.
With your stomach churning it dawns on you that the University of Cincinnati is also in the Big 12 for some inexplicable reason. Armed with this knowledge you order a Filet-O-Fish for the road and skip the trip to Cincinnati because honestly who cares.

Finally in Morgantown you immediately head to Tudor's Biscuit World and thank the lord for your blessings. No McDs just Biscuit World. It is awesome. Enjoy.

After a road trip of homogeneous food and landscapes (minus WV) head down to Orlando for some homogeneous family entertainment to go with your McD's. With two unique offerings and the potential to run into @FlaBuff Orlando is sure to be the top B12 Destination for many fans.

First head to the McD's on Orange avenue to see this classy and historic location.
The SODO McDonald’s is known for its classy “Historic Orlando” decor that includes old photos of the city, a large fireplace, and high-end seating. The booths and wingback chairs, lined with faux ostrich and gator leather, sit at tables with wrought iron bases. A large freshwater fish tank is filled with various cichlids, a crawfish, and giant goldfish.
I am having a hard time imagining what Historic Orlando actually means but what the hey, enjoy the fireplace in the hot and humid south I guess.
1691624185795.png
The bathroom where you will probably take a historic **** after you finish eating.

If you are not a history buff go to the Epic McD's just across town. With 19,000 square feet of fun you can order pizza and pasta, play at a huge arcade and order fancy deserts all while knowing your trip through the culinary delights of the B12 is just about over.


I am more excited than ever for the move to the B12 and I cant wait to go out and truly embrace the diverse restaurants in our new conference footprint.
 
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