Well now we are getting somewhere. Since our new conference is known for a different kind of food scene than the P12 I thought we should explore the our new conferences finest offering, which of course is McDonald's.
Aside from the T Rex in Tucson we have many other unique McD's across the B12 landscape. So while you are on the road seek out these fine establishments, supersize it, and if you eat often enough you will start to feel (and look) like a real B12 member.
Starting with our fellow P12 refugee's seems best. In addition to the T-Rex the same Mcdonalds has a second dinosaur out back.
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Its unclear if you can get a brontosaurus burger inside but you should be ready to bear down on the toilet about 15 to 20 minutes after you finish your pregame meal.
Headed up north to ASU country you may be interested to learn that the first McD's franchise was in Phoenix and it was also the first use of the now famous double arch logo. However you will probably not be hungry after chowing at the strip club buffet while you get to know the student body.
Continuing north you get to Utah and BYU. Where the only thing unique about their McD's are the fact you can order fry sauce which originated at an Artic Circle in Utah and helps to highlight how weird our neighbors are.
Fry sauce is what truly defines the Beehive State.
www.atlasobscura.com
Also the first Kentucky Fried Chicken was in Utah for some weird reason.
OnlyInYourState.com, which highlights unique and interesting facts about every state, recently delved into KFC's history in the Beehive State.
www.deseret.com
As for Provo I got nothin.
So with the four corners taken care of head on south to Texas which has several (3? 4?) universities in the new B12.
Astronaut McDonalds in Houston has an awesome statue out front modeled after our very own
@SpacemanSpiff (hmm weird I guess you cant @ someone who is banned?) If you are lucky he might just be hanging out there with Neil Armstrong or possibly just Lance.
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Elsewhere in Texas we have the first fully automated McDonalds in Ft Worth. Which makes alot of sense because once you see the general populace of Ft Worth you don't really want them involved in making your food.
If you were able to block the memory of your last meal and are still up for more, stop at the Worlds Largest Happy Meal McDonalds in Dallas on your way to the airport.
The Happy Meal-shaped McDonald’s in Dallas, Texas, is a unique architectural wonder featuring luxurious interiors and is ranked among the top 10 most unique
www.onlyinyourstate.com
I almost forgot Lubbock (its pretty easy to do really), and so did any creative McDonalds owners so you will have to look to another restaurant for a unique experience. I know some folks really got into the farm to table movement while visiting the P12 locales but you might not want to try that in Lubbock.
https://kfmx.com/lubbock-ranked-as-one-of-the-worst-cities-in-the-u-s-to-eat-local-food/
Lastly in TX is Waco home to the Baylor Bears. **** Baylor. Never go there IDGAF if they have a McDonalds that gives away free happy endings with every happy meal. **** Baylor that is all. Ok now that I actually did some research the Mickey D's on I 35 apparently gets one star on Yelp and trip advisor with this review.
So if you do make the mistake of going to Waco you have been warned.
After all of these offerings you are probably most interested in leaving TX quickly and as you head north into the oversized buckle on the bible belt take a look at what OSU has to offer. While not technically in Stillwater you will probably be happily speeding away on 1-44 heading to the worlds largest McDonald's which is on a highway overpass in Vinita OK.
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If you keep heading north you will eventually escape Oklahoma and unfortunately find yourself in Kansas. The internet shows me that Kansas apparently has bland McDonald's locations to match their bland topography.
APS Archives
www.aps.org
So you might need to look into other unique offerings that the Sunflower Oil State has to offer. Nearly equidistant from Manhattan and Lawrence, make sure to visit the Prairie Nut Hut in Altoona before or after the big game to a taste of that balls in the mouth experience that most Jayhawk fans deserve for being the most annoying fan base in the B12 if not the world.
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Next up is Iowa State and the Cyclones who's color scheme and uniforms make them look like Ronald McDonald's illegitimate children.
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Given this apparent homage it seems Ames should have a spectacular, one of a kind franchise, unfortunately there is not. Luckily since Iowa is so homogeneous you may have mistakenly driven to Iowa City and found this coast to coast travel themed gem instead.
The most unique Mcdonald's in Iowa is in Coralville - and its decor is like nothing you've ever seen before.
www.onlyinyourstate.com
By now you are probably sick of the flat lands and decide to head to the mountains. So you head east towards Wild and Wonderful West Virginia. Since it is a really, really long drive you have to stop to poop in Cleveland and discover this classy AF two story brick colonial McDonalds with chandeliers and other fancy ass ****. Like this is probably the McD's Trump would eat at.
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Most known for its infamous gold arches and bright red and white exterior, the classic McDonald's building is one of the most recognizable in the world. There are a few spread throughout the country that seem to differ from the iconic building design, however.
original.newsbreak.com
While you are enjoying your numbered entree you google "Ohio and McDonalds" and you discover the Filet-O-Fish- sandwich originated in Cincinnati.
Did you know that the McDonald’s Lent- and pescatarian-friendly Filet-O-Fish sandwich was invented in Cincinnati?
www.citybeat.com
With your stomach churning it dawns on you that the University of Cincinnati is also in the Big 12 for some inexplicable reason. Armed with this knowledge you order a Filet-O-Fish for the road and skip the trip to Cincinnati because honestly who cares.
Finally in Morgantown you immediately head to Tudor's Biscuit World and thank the lord for your blessings. No McDs just Biscuit World. It is awesome. Enjoy.
tudorsbiscuitworld.com
After a road trip of homogeneous food and landscapes (minus WV) head down to Orlando for some homogeneous family entertainment to go with your McD's. With two unique offerings and the potential to run into
@FlaBuff Orlando is sure to be the top B12 Destination for many fans.
First head to the McD's on Orange avenue to see this classy and historic location.
In SODO sits one of the last unique McDonald’s in Central Florida. The region used to be filled with these oddly decorated McDonald’s, but soon we’ll have one less.
www.orlandoweekly.com
I am having a hard time imagining what Historic Orlando actually means but what the hey, enjoy the fireplace in the hot and humid south I guess.
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The bathroom where you will probably take a historic **** after you finish eating.
If you are not a history buff go to the Epic McD's just across town. With 19,000 square feet of fun you can order pizza and pasta, play at a huge arcade and order fancy deserts all while knowing your trip through the culinary delights of the B12 is just about over.
The world’s largest McDonald’s, located in Orlando, offers a unique dining experience with an extensive menu and entertainment
www.onlyinyourstate.com
I am more exited than ever for the move to the B12 and I cant wait to go out and truly embrace the diverse restaurants in our new conference footprint.
